Wario Ware Inc. -
Mega Microgame$

A long, long time ago, in an age known as the mid-80's, a single Russian game designer devised something that would fundamentally change video games forever. With nothing but a series of colorful falling blocks and some catchy Russian music, Tetris was born. One of the most addictive and popular video games of all time didn’t need flashy graphics, or 128-bit violence, or fully orchestrated background music in full stereo, but just a simple premise that anyone could pick up quickly, but was next to impossible to put down. Even almost two decades later, Tetris still shows up on just about every game system in one form or another.

Move over, Tetris. Wario Ware is here, and it’s gunning for your throne.

Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Microgame$ is easily one of the strangest games to come out this year, or any year for that matter. It actually eludes description; any attempt at conveying what Wario Ware is cannot really make it sound like a whole lot of fun, because it is one of those games that really needs to be experienced in order to be appreciated. Nonetheless, Wario Ware is one of those rare games that kept me glued to my Game Boy Advance until the wee hours of the morning, trying to complete just one more stage.

Basically, the gist of the “story” (if you can call it that), is that Wario, Nintendo’s quintessential anti-hero, likes money. He recently discovered that there is quite a bit of money to be made in video games, so he enlisted a number of his acquaintances in Diamond City to design games for him. Of course, in order to minimize cost and maximize profit, Wario has cut some corners, so all of the games he designs are five to ten seconds long. The player is to participate as a playtester, trying out all the games and trying to master them.

As such, the player is placed into a series of stages, each of which centers around a particular designer’s microgames. The games come in rapid succession, one after another, and the player has five to ten seconds, based on a one word hint, to figure out what is to be done and then do it, before being thrust into the next microgame. The controls are intentionally kept simple, restricted to the d-pad and the A button, in order to keep the game from being too maddeningly frustrating. None of the games, by themselves, are overly challenging; most of them are merely a matter of pressing a button at the right moment. The real fun comes in the time pressure and the fact that you really don’t know what you need to do until you do it. Add to that the fact that the games start moving faster and faster as you progress, and you have the makings for an extremely addictive game. It creates that old-school need to beat your high score that very few games do nowadays (Amplitude for PS2 is the only one I’ve played recently that comes close).

The games themselves are very nicely varied; even though many of them are functionally the same, they all feel very different. Activities range from the mundane, like a game that requires the player to brush his/her teeth, to the way out there, like covering Wario’s belly button with his shirt. There’s some love for the old-school Nintendo fans as well; a player can find microgame versions of F-Zero, Duck Hunt, Mario Bros., and The Legend of Zelda, among others. There are even games based on more obscure bits of Nintendo history, including one based on their light gun shooting ranges that they operated in the 1970s, and another centered around none other than R.O.B. the Robot (when was the last time you heard that name?). There are also a number of laugh-out-loud moments to be found for Nintendo fans, most of which involve Wario weaseling his way into one or another of Mario’s games.

If all this wasn’t enough, by getting high scores on certain stages, you can unlock more robust mini-games. There are some two-player games that are playable on the same GBA, with each player using a shoulder button to control their side. It sounds awkward, but the games are simple enough (think Pong-style simple) that it really does work well. Some full single player games are included as well, including the Fly Swatter game from Mario Paint, and a full version of Dr. Mario… err, make that Dr. Wario. The extra games are a nice touch, and increase the replay value quite a bit.

The graphics range from simple stick drawings to photo-realistic, depending on the needs of the particular mini-game. Many of the games have what are, for the GBA, rather simplistic graphics, but they fit the games well, and they don’t seem out of place. After all, you have five seconds to figure out what to do; you don’t need Mode 7 graphics with scaling and rotation to figure out that you need to raise a flag up a flagpole. Where they are warranted, though, the graphics are quite good; the F-Zero game, for example, looks exactly like its SNES counterpart. Interludes between stages have some interesting cartoony art, which is pleasant to look at, as well.

Sound follows suit, differing in complexity as the game requires. Some games consist of only blips and beeps, and for those games, that works fine. Some games have full music; I particularly enjoyed the 5-second snippet of music from The Legend of Zelda. The designers attempted some voice synthesis, in the form of some of the characters, mostly Wario, laughing or shouting “Excellent!”, but it’s hard to hear on the GBA’s tinny speaker unless you listen carefully. Everything fits, though, and if one game happens to have annoying sound, at least it’s over in five seconds or less.

About the only real complaint I have about Wario Ware is that it’s over much too quickly. I blew through the main game in one evening, and unlocked all but one hidden game within two days. There’s still quite a bit of replay value there, as I still have the high scores to challenge, but some extra modes, or some link cable multiplayer modes would have made the game last quite a bit longer. I still anticipate that I’ll get quite a bit of play time out of Wario Ware, but it felt like it ended much too soon.

In all, though, Wario Ware is basically the perfect Game Boy game. Anyone can pick it up easily, and it’s broken up into such small chunks that you can literally pick it up, play it for five minutes, and put it down again. Of course, putting it down is the hard part, because there’s always that temptation to clear one more level, or beat just one more microgame. There’s also nothing particularly offensive in the game (unless you would find a microgame that involves picking a nose offensive), so it’s appropriate for kids of all ages. Of course, if you’re anti-capitalist, you might find Wario’s entrepreneurial spirit to be offensive as well.

I probably haven’t done justice to Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Microgame$ with my description, but if you come back from reading this review with nothing else, at least give Wario Ware a try. I can’t remember having played a game this unique, with this much character and originality, in a long, long time. That it’s a heck of a lot of fun is an excellent added bonus. It may fizzle out quickly, but not before you get your $30 worth out of it, and one can’t really ask more from a video game than that.

In all, Nintendo’s video game version of Short Attention Span Theatre is a must-buy (or at least a must-try). Hopefully Wario can get a full-time position on Nintendo’s staff so we can keep the microgames coming.