This Game is the Oleo of Video
Games
There has to a game in Blade 2 for Xbox somewhere, right? I mean
it was packaged in that green box we’ve all some to recognize as an Xbox release
and heck, it even said XBOX on the front. Where’s the actual game? I couldn’t
find it. I beat it in 4 hours and believe me, I am still wondering where the
game is.
Keep
Your Friends Close; Keep Your Enemies Closer
This
game takes place months after the movie sequel. And the actual storyline isn’t
much different. Basically you traverse different areas taking down full-blown
vampires in order investigate an exchange of blood between a local mafia group
and a vampire clan. There are three campaigns and one tutorial, but it takes
only about 5 minutes to finish the tutorial, making me wonder if it was really
necessary and worth it. The three campaigns have their own missions and vampire
clans to battle, but they all are related in some weird, weird way.
After selecting your campaign, you are given your mission. Each
mission has a main objective and usually a sub-objective. Completing the
sub-objectives gives you bonuses. After getting the objectives, you go to the
equipment selection screen. As you earn points--by collecting glyphs,
completing objectives, killing undead--you unlock other weapons. Some of the
more exotic weaponry takes a while to collect and there are limited slots to
carry ammo, so be finicky when it comes to shooting. After all that, it’s time
to play.
They’ll Take Us Deeper Than We’ve Ever
Been
The
graphics are decent. Not spectacular or ground-breaking, but decent enough to
get the job done. But unfortunately, you can’t just be decent these days.
Environmental textures are the best feature in this game. Buildings offer nice
decor while not distracting from gameplay. Cement blocks look like I could
take them and use them as stands for bookshelves, and the subway tunnels could
have come right out of Daylight. One problem I did have was that most of
the levels took place indoors. The first time you’ll see the outside is when
you have to meet Whistler (your weaponry sidekick) on the roof; but still, there
were high walls and raised ledges so you couldn’t really see to far.
One special note about the in-game movies. They used the same
graphics engine as the game, but they tried to make things unique by using
slow-motion in scenes where they thought slow-motion would be awesome. Well, it
wasn’t. Blade seemed angry because he had to use the restroom and the game
makers were slowing him down.
The characters were atrocious. Did the makers only use 100
polygons to build these people? Even Blade looked a bit haggard and blocky.
These guys should be on a Playstation One because I can not believe the Xbox can
produce only this much power. Buffy had better characters and even Max Payne
illustrated detailed characters, so I know it can be done.
Did I mention that this probably would have been ground-breaking
on the Playstation One. PS1 folks...that ain’t good.
You
Want Me To Fight Them...For You?
It
doesn’t matter that the Xbox controller is large, sometimes actually hindering
the enjoyment of a game. It doesn’t matter that you push a button or move a
thumbstick because the reaction time is frustratingly slow. It doesn’t matter
that combat and using weapons cannot be used smoothly in conjunction with each
other. It just doesn’t matter.
There is something new in this game that sounds good, but
falters. The left thumbstick moves Blade around (naturally), and the right
thumbstick performs your hand-to-hand combat moves. What’s that? Yes, it
seems strange, but once you get use to it, you’ll be fine. The first problem is
that there’s a delay between moving the stick and actually seeing a result. The
second problem is that there’s hardly any variety in the moves. Punch, Punch,
Punch, Kick, Punch...well, you get the idea. Combos are available, but it’s
hard to plan your attack when 5 or 6 guys are surrounding you and pummeling you
beyond belief.
Using weapons is controlled by the digital pad (to select) and
the right trigger (to shoot). Blade uses an automatic targeting system: move
or turn Blade in the direction you want to shoot and the gun locks on for you.
One issue that arose was when Blade was surrounded and I wanted to shoot a
vampire, turn and shoot another. I would shoot the first guy and ready myself
for the second, but as I turned as shot, I spun back around and aimed
where the first guy was. Either I was way, way too fast for the
controller/game or there’s a major glitch in the game. I tend to believe the
former because of all the control concerns. The last issue I had with the
weapon control was the bad timing on the holstering and unholstering of
weapons. When I thought I had readied a particular weapon, I found Blade just
standing there. Of course this was really bad in a fistfight when a gun would
do.
Everyone Had a Voice-Double In
Blade 2
No one sounds good. The voice-over acting is over-dramatic and
the characters really don’t sound like anyone. In the movie Kris
Kristofferson’s voice is raspy and cool for an old guy, but in the game, he
sounds like he has a cold. Blade sounds like James Earl Jones and the villains
must have went to overvoice-acting school because I wanted to shoot them not for
trying to take over the world, but for thinking their voices had real acting
potential.
Let’s not forget the music. The Blade movie series is
known for it’s heavy/alternative/hip-hop soundtrack. If you’re expecting it
here, forget it. All you’ll find are cheesy guitar tracks and mellow dance
music. Nothing to get you pumped up.
I understand that with every action movie, a video game has
to be made from it. But that’s no excuse to make crap. They should take their
time and compare and ask questions like “Is this better than Max Payne?”
and “Hey, how would this fare against Dead To Rights?” and “Shouldn’t we
put a hot chick in this game?”
Do not buy this game. Do not rent this game. Do
not believe for a second that this is a game because it’s not. Just
because it’s on a CD does not make it a video game. And just because Wesley
Snipes is in a cool pose on the cover does not mean it is a good representation
of Xbox games.
But if you do decide to rent or buy, for whatever reason, at
least you will get to watch a preview of the movie before immersing yourself
into a worse Hell than those Vampires are in.
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Blade
2
