What is probably the sign that you’re about to play a terrible game? Some people would say that it’s when you see Acclaim made the game. Others would say that it’s when the instruction booklet wasn’t even translated correctly. To me, it’s when the manufacturer spent a lot of time and processing power on making a logo intro. You know, when the opening screen consists of a company doing something impressive graphically to show that they can. Generally, I find that such time should have been used on the game itself.
So when I saw a nice flashy THQ logo (THQ also being a bad sign before you even start the game) load up before Moto GP for the N-Gage, I had my serious worries. But hey, a motocross game isn’t that hard. Heck, Sega could have just re-released Hang On, same graphics and all, today and it would still be a good play. THQ couldn’t foul this one up, could they?
Oh, when will I learn to keep my mouth shut? For starters, like all of THQ’s other such games, you have the standard setup – single match, multiplayer match, a series of races (Grand Prix, of course), and a time trial. One addition that is nice is that THQ did include a track edit mode, which is impressive for a portable unit. While you cannot make tracks as complex as the standard tracks in the game, which is a mild disappointment, the addition of the track mode does allow you to make a track every bit as difficult as the ones built into the game.
Of course, the problem lies in navigating these tracks. THQ traditionally makes two types of control schemes. Either the control is so difficult to handle that you can’t play at all, or the control is so smooth that the difficulty of the game is lain bare as an afterthought. Moto GP clearly falls into the former category. I even think it’s intentional. Sure, when I’m driving, I regularly go into the grass and crash a few times per race. What’s shocking, though, is that the computer also does this. Man, when the AI can’t handle correctly, you know something is wrong with the game.
What doesn’t help matters is the confusing control scheme. THQ programmed more than just the 5 and 7 buttons as acceleration and brake, respectively. You can also use the control pad to speed up or slow down, and some of the other number keys also have functions. However, given how closely spaced the keypad for the N-Gage is, someone with even moderately sized thumbs is quite likely to mash one of the other buttons. This can, of course, totally foul up your game, and I don’t know why THQ didn’t choose other buttons for functions. The phone has plenty of them.
In terms of your riders, THQ does another tried and true method – basically, they use palette swaps to designate different characters, which all have basically the same stats. I suppose you could pay lots of attention to each circumstance and find some miniscule difference between each rider, but I don’t know anyone who’s about to put that much time into this. It’s frustrating, and I don’t quite understand why they don’t just give you the choice to just choose an outfit and forego the illusion of different types of riders.
The game is rather solid graphically, perhaps the most solid of the N-Gage launch titles. The colors are perfectly balanced, and the details in the graphics are rather solid. You even get the impression that each patch on your rider actually says something – there’s a good shot of what appears to be a Marlboro logo on a few of the riders, for example. When you choose weather effects for the stage, it actually appears that the weather does affect the graphics, including some light streaks of rain during an overcast stage. Finally, the stills during interstitials are high quality digital photos, and these look lifelike enough that you probably could mistake them for something live. I think I’ll tip my hat to THQ’s graphical design department…
But only if I’m allowed to hit their sound department on the knees with a bamboo cane. The music is barely audible unless you totally turn off the sound effects, which ruins the feel of the game and shows a lazy sound department that didn’t expect someone to hear this. The sound effects are even worse. In order to simulate an engine roar, THQ apparently felt the need to record the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. My fiancée actually heard it from the other room and was worried I was getting hurt on something. Not worth keeping the sound on this one.
Actually, there’s just not much worth it in general for this game. It’s pretty, admittedly, really pretty. And if I just looked at games and not played them, I’d recommend it. However, when the AI can’t even play the game correctly, then something is obviously wrong. This game just shows that THQ is exploring new and more exciting ways to make bad games for everyone.
