Bravo, Konami. Bravo.
It is rare that I will play a game that start out bad, and think, "This can't possibly get any worse" only to have a game company go beyond my wildest expectations to prove that yes, they can make the game experience even worse.
It's like you were psychic. You knew that you had to step your crappiness up to another level. It's like your backs were to the wall, and "Suck or Go Home" was the order of the day. You put together your "A" game, gave it 110% and all worked together as a team to make those title dreams a reality.
And so now you have the title.
Worst Fighting Game Ever.
You must have wanted it bad. To suck so hard you could taste it. How else can explain away a game that is so laughably bad it makes BANDAI titles look like quality?! This game is so awful that you can't even find reviews for it. Gamerankings lists *9* other reviews for this game. It's been out for 2 months now! Most other game companies can't afford to risk the advertising cash of pissing someone the size of Konami.
But not Netjak. No ads. Nothing to lose.
Story
The story is apparently based off of an awful anime series that was a cunning plan, much like the one the adults concocted in Battle Royale 2: Horribly Pointless Sequel. You see, the adults created this series to stunt the mental development of children. If it turns out that this is not true, then this is probably the result of a employee missing a deadline, and relying on one of the Auto Anime Plot Generators lying about the internet. This is what I get for randomly browsing the "New Releases" section for the Gamecube.
The forces of good and evil are fighting over a bunch of stones. The good stones are called Rave Stones. The bad ones are Shadow Stones, and the Shadow Stones were almost defeated when an undescribed incident happened called "The Overdrive" which blew up 1/10 of the Earth, and scattered both the Rave and the Shadow Stones throughout the Earth.
Now people are looking for them. One of those people is Haru Glory, a rail thin teen with nonsensical hair and a sword that he'd never be able to lift. Along for the ride are his friends Elle, and Musica who have mysterious powers and pasts of their own. You start the game with 5 characters available for play, and can unlock 11 more, but you won't want to.
Gameplay
A is your power attack, and B is your quick attack. Z button picks up weapons, stones, and whatever is lying about on the ground. There are other buttons that block and such, but none of that is at all important, since once you pick up 3 "stones of power" you will lay waste to the onscreen enemies in a matter of seconds.
Fighting is done a la Power Stone, and even though I didn't find that game anything more than mediocre, Rave Master wouldn't be fit to be in the same bargain bin as Power Stone. You ever play a fighting game, and there are certain characters that have exploits that make them cheap, but you kind of have to dig for them? Rave Master is like that, except that it's in the initial 5 characters, and you don't have to dig at all.
Elle's starting weaponry, the Tonfa Blasters are an interesting idea. They're also cheap as all get out. I found one other enemy in the game with a ranged attack, and that character's attack is slow. Elle can sit in a corner and simply hit the A button to shoot all other enemies before they lay a hand on her. If you do manage to get close, the other characters all have weapon attacks that are incredibly slooooow. So, if you're playing Elle...just run...get to the other side of the screen and shoot again. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's so unbalanced that the best strategy for the game when Elle isn't involved is to wait for the Tonfa Blasters to appear in one of the crates, and then just cheese everyone with them.
The game offers up very, very little resistance, as I have yet to lose more than two of the three starting lives you're given at the start of each battle. You can pick up 1ups that appear to extend your gameplay, and that frankly, boggles the mind. Why are you coddling the young generation of gamers! Games were tough back in our day, and we liked it! We LOVED IT! With games like this the next generation of gamers is going to be a bunch of namby pamby wussy boys who can't even beat the original NES version of Super Dodgeball.
If this is indeed supposed to be a game for children... why does Elle's story revolve trying to find the pervert snapping photos of her while she's bathing?! Elle looks to be in Jr. High School. How exactly is this supposed to be a game that's appropriate for kids? When she finds out who snapped the photos, she comments that they're good pictures of her! Then you have a gang of crooks who are obsessed with sex called the "Big Booty Bandits". Make up your mind Konami. Either you make a kids game and remove the sex, or you make a game for teens, and include game balance and challenge. What the heck were you guys thinking? No game balance and no challenge in a fighting game means NO gameplay, and NO replay. That's why you pulled off the rare double 0.
Graphics
They look OK. They aren't on par with the Naruto games in terms of keeping true to the look and feel of the series, but they get the job done with the characters. The arenas are boring and drab, and you could really do without perpetuating the create myth. Just drop the items directly on the ground. I don't need to see 80 creates through the course of a fight.
Audio
The voice acting is serviceable, with one notable exception. I was sitting there after my first playthrough of the game, thinking that the game had exceeded the criteria I needed for the game to be chosen as my contribution to this version of "Pleading the 5th", and then the guys dug down deep, and found something a little more crappy...
The worst ending theme song in the history of video games. This easily beats out Swingtime. This song sets civilized society back 10 years. It sounds like they got the voice actors (who OBVIOUSLY cannot sing.) to just come in the studio and kind of talk out the translated lyrics, all set to the music that killed off ska. I don't know who to blame for this abomination? Is it Konami's fault directly? Is it the fault of Tokyopop? Who let this unholy concoction of dissonance out of the bottle?
Overall
Take a fighting engine that is completely unbalanced and uninteresting, add a dash of inappropriate sexual conduct with minors, and a dollop of the worst ending song in video game history, and you have Rave Master.
It seems like Konami is trying to go the Bandai route. Find some anime licenses, produce whatever title they can kick out the door in 6-9 months, quality optional, and then reap the profits. Ain't going to work. Didn't work for Bandai, not going to work for you.
So, while other sites are staying away from reviewing this game, or just blatantly lying to you about its quality, I'm here to tell you that this game is the worst fighting game of all time. Worse than Vs, even worse than Evil Zone. If you play it...I'm afraid you may lose your sense of taste.
